Death Sucks

On Wednesday morning, my uncle who has been sick with cancer passed away. He was only 27 years old, so that's scary in itself, but this weekend was filled with all the rituals that follow someone's passing. I haven't ever lost someone who has been really close to me, so I'm sure that if that happened I would be an emotional mess, but excluding that, I usually don't get too emotional at funerals. I really didn't think that I would with this one, because in all honesty, it was the best thing that could have happened. He was in a tremendous amount of pain the past couple months, so he's better off now. I wasn't too emotional until I saw my mom and my grandma crying...then it started to get to me. I mean they were a wreck, so it made me emotional to see them like that. Friday night, after the calling hours, I came home and was watching this show about troops that just returned home. They were granting 3 wishes to a couple of the families, and provided them with new homes...it was actually a really cool concept. I think it was everything that has been going on, but I just lost it...I was a crying fool. I'm glad no one was home! It felt good to let some emotion out. I probably haven't cried in 2 or 3 years, but I think it's necessary every once in awhile...needless to say I'm glad all that stuff is over with.

Last night we played some poker at the VFW. We were playing a one table tournament...and I was probably chip leader with about 6 people left. The hand that busted me was some BS. I looked down to see two Kings looking back at me on the button. It was folded to me and I raised all in, hoping my overbet would look like a steal and I would get a call. Well the small blind called with A 10, and someone else had said they folded and Ace. The flop was nothing, but sure enough, one of the 2 remaining Aces spiked the turn and that was all she wrote for me. It really sucks when you can't fade a draw with 2 outs! After that we went to some guy's house I didn't know and played a cash game until like 4 in the morning. I bought in with $40, and cashed out with $39...so I lost $1. They were some crazy mofo's there...actually they were really, really bad. But I couldn't pick up a hand to get myself into a pot with some of those guys to take their cash. So, I played super tight and waited, and waited...and waited. Finally I picked up Aces, and got into a big pot...but I picked it up on the flop. So I guess $1 loss is ok in that game...I easily could have lost all $40.

One of my friends on Myspace posted the following, and after reading it, I feel much better about myself. It's been awhile since I've dated anyone, but when I am in a relationship, I think I do most of these things. So, I've decided to stop worrying about if I'll find someone or not...I'm a good guy, and if a girl doesn't realize that, then it's their loss. I mean I don't cheat, lie, or treat them bad...in fact the opposite is true. I feel that I'm a VERY loyal person...in fact I pride myself on that. And when I'm with someone I treat that like an absolute princess. So, whoever the lucky girl is that decides to take a chance on me will be reap the benefits.

1.Get kissed in the rain
2. Have that one hott kiss where your pressed against the wall
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs
5. A boy that whispers he loves you in your ear
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into eachother's eyes
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about
9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breath in, his scent surrounds you
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand
12. A boy that says he loves you and means it
13. A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window
14. A guy who is loyal
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable...not hot, fine, or sexy
18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look.
19. A boy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile
20. A boy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends
21. A boy that tells you everything honestly
22. A boy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family
23. A guy that will always let you win
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who it is against
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi' and see how your day has been
26. A boy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better
27. A boy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet
28. A boy who you can hangout and have fun with
29. A boy that will just randonmly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance.
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you you make his day better, just for being you


That's pretty much all I've got for today, so live every day to it's fullest!!

R.I.P. Scott Adam Wyatt
1/29/1978-10/26/2005

" It is faith in one's self, when all else is stripped from us, that defines who we are and what we are truly capable of."