I've Got Dreams to Remember

I can’t remember a time in my life where I’ve been more frustrated and tired. I constantly feel like I’m stuck in this rut in life, and most of it has to do with my job. I never thought it would be half as hard as it has been to find a good job. I guess I’m fortunate in a way, because I’ve had a job since before I graduated that has paid the bills…but I didn’t go to college to make $12/hr. I’ve got to find something that challenges me and allows me to earn more money at the same time. It just seems that nobody will give me a chance. All I want is a chance…

I guess in life you can’t rely on people to give you opportunities, and I’m fine with that. I have no problem with making my own opportunities…the problem is that I don’t always know HOW to create my own opportunities. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about trying to start a business, but I can’t figure out what kind of a business I would like to start…or even how to go about starting one. I think I’m going to do some research and find out some stuff about it. I’ve got to do something. It doesn’t make any sense to sit around and complain about not being happy without doing anything to fix it.

On to more exciting things, or at least less depressing things. I’ve been playing poker quite a bit lately online, and I’ve been doing pretty well. I’m starting to get that feeling again that something good is going to happen…like me winning a big tournament. So I guess we’ll see what happens, I’ve been right every time I’ve gotten this feeling so far.

I’ve also started to try to qualify for the WSOP Main Event online. I have only tried a few supersatellites, but I haven’t had any luck lately. I still have quite a bit of time, but I’d like to be able to do it ASAP, if I’m able to do it at all. Only time will tell I guess.

I’ll leave you on that note…wish me luck trying to qualify for that damn tournament!!

"Recognize that everyday won't be sunny and when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair, remember its only in the black of night when you can see the stars... and those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes and stumble and fall cause most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you will get everything you wished for... or maybe you will get more than you ever could of imagined. Who knows where life will take you, the road is long and in the end, the journey IS the destination."

The Mixed Tape

What's up? I found this band through the T.V. show One Tree Hill and I think this song is pretty sweet. Check it out and vote for it on T.R.L. Kinda cheesy I know, but I like their music so I figured I'd help the cause and post this bannner. UPDATE: I bought their CD "Everything in Transit" the other day, and I can't stop listening to it...pick it up, or at least check it out on amazon or something...Talk ta ya later!!

Sophomore Slump, or Comeback of the Year?

You’re probably wondering what’s up with these titles I’ve been using lately…they’re titles from either Fall Out Boy songs, or Episode titles from a few TV shows I like. I like them because their kinda crazy, plus they’re way more creative than something I could come up with. So I try to find something that is close to the subject of my post, and I use it. I’ll keep using them mostly because I’m entertained by it and I like the challenge of trying to find one that matches the content of my post.

I’ve been officially been playing poker tournaments regularly for a year and half, calendar time. I’ve really only been playing for about 15 months, because I’ve only played in one tournament in the last 3 months or so. So I figured I’d try to analyze how far I’ve come, how much money I’ve made, and some of my goals for the next year. So here goes nothin.

In the past 18 months or so, I think I’ve evolved from a very novice and inexperienced tournament player into an experienced player that has formed a solid tournament strategy. I’ve come to understand some poker theories that are more complex than anything I ever thought I’d be able to comprehend, although I’m still in the process of learning how to apply these strategies in the correct situations. I think I’m on my way to becoming a good player, and now that my little sabbatical from poker is over, I’m ready to start devoting more time to poker again. In the next year or so I hope to continue to improve as a player and continue to learn more strategies and how to correctly apply them. I also hope to improve on becoming better at reading players, and trusting these reads.

The past year was a pretty profitable one for me poker wise. Just counting tournaments, I’ve probably won about $2,500-$3,000. This isn’t a huge amount, but for the tournaments I’ve played in, I would say it’s pretty successful. If it wasn’t for a few untimely bad beats in big situations, I probably would have made close to double that. But that’s poker, what can you do. One of my biggest strengths in tournament poker is cashing in a high percentage of the tournaments I enter, but I want to improve on that as well. I am going to try to become more aggressive in the later stages and build a stack that can help me win, not just cash. I’d accept a few less times in the money for a few more higher finishes.

I have a couple of goals for this upcoming year of poker. The first one is to try to qualify for the World Series of Poker Main Event. There are online satellites everywhere, so I’m going to try my best to qualify. If it doesn’t work, I guess I’ll just gain a lot of tournament experience, so it’s really a win win situation.

I also want to become a better cash game player, whether it be limit or no-limit. I sometimes struggle in cash games with making good decisions, so I need to improve upon this in order to increase my bottom line. If I can cut down on the bad decisions I make, this will allow me to save $, and in poker $ is just as good as $ won.

That’s pretty much it for this one. I guess the question is, will I have a Sophomore Slump, or will it be the Comeback of the Year? Stay tuned, I guess we’ll find out together.

“Don’t be afraid to be great.”

Lonesome Road

So, it’s winter in Ohio and it’s cold…although it hasn’t been a typical winter here, because it’s been very mild. I figure we’re do for a monster blizzard sometime in February probably. There hasn’t bee much going on here, the winter is quite boring in the O-H-I-O.

I played in my first poker tournament at the VFW since I won the tournament there Thanksgiving weekend. It was a shootout, which means you start with a certain # of tables, and each table winner moves to the final table. I ended up finishing 2nd at my table, which didn’t get me squat. I had a big chip lead, but lost two big hands. One was when my pocket 2’s got beat by KJ, and the other is when my A8 got beat by A7. Oh well, that’s poker…what can you do?

I’ve been playing online a little more. My poker enthusiasm has started to slowly come back, and I’ve been doing fairly well in the sit n go’s online. I’ll keep playing those, and maybe I’ll move to cash games eventually. I just don’t feel comfortable playing cash games online for some reason. I’m not as good at cash games as I am tournaments, but online is completely different. Hopefully I’ll get better at that.

Speaking of poker, a few of my friends started a poker website for the Marion area, and I’m writing an article that is supposed to help people learn about poker. You can check out the website here. It’s got along way to go, but they’ve got a good start, so maybe it will turn into something.

Nothing else really going on, except for that I’m getting the Vegas itch again. I didn’t think it would come again so soon after last trip, because Vegas kicked my ass last time, but it’s back. I’m really hoping to qualify for the WSOP Main Event online, but that’s probably a long shot. Even if I don’t I’d like to go out and watch the final table of the Main Event. I’ll probably try to get out there for a couple of days before that though. I need to go out there for just a few days by myself and just play poker the whole trip. We’ll see what happens with everything.

Well, Porky Pig always says, That’s All Folks!

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."

Have You Ever Seen the Rain?

I have...as a matter of fact, that's all I've seen today. It has been pouring all day...I mean it hasn't even stopped for a second. That makes January even harder to get through. January and February are the absolute worst months of the year, and then it goes and rains all day. Last week, I didn't see the sun for 4 days in a row. This is why I hate winter so much...if it's not raining, it's freezing ass cold and snowing. I can't wait until April!

That's all I've got...I haven't posted much lately, but that's because there isn't anything going on with me...same ole, same ole. Maybe tomorrow will be the day that changes my life or something and I'll have something to write about...if not, I'll be around sometime in the near future. Until then...

"Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each."

Somewhere A Clock is Ticking...

...but not in Las Vegas. I lose all track of time when I'm there and for a week or so after I'm back...but finally I have enough energy and time to write about my trip to Las Vegas. It was awesome, but exhausting…which is too be expected I guess. I probably played between 40 to 50 hours of poker while I was there, and I ended up winning about $250. I was up $400 going into the last day, but I lost $150 because I was HUNG OVER. But the night before was definitely worth it.

I got a chance to do some things I didn’t get to do last time, like go up to the top of the Eiffel Tower at Paris Las Vegas, and head over to the Hard Rock Café, and to the Palms. I got some pretty sweet pictures of the Bellagio Fountains atop the Eiffel Tower.

The only 2 nights I really went out were the first night and the last night. I was usually too tired from playing poker all day (and sometimes all night) to really go out too much. The first night, we went to over to the New York New York hotel and went to Coyote Ugly. It’s a pretty cool place, but it gets pretty old after about an hour or so. The last night was the best night of the trip for me. A few of my family friends that I’ve known since I can remember were staying at the same hotel as us, so I got the chance to hang out with them. I have a huge amount of respect for the whole family, and a good time always seems to follow them. Well this night was no different, as we pretty much roamed our hotel and got HAMMERED. This night made the whole trip worth it…it was just good to hang out with them, because I don’t get a chance to that often, and we’ve kinda lost touch a little. But Courtnie and I said we were gonna start hanging out, so maybe we’ll keep touch better this time…I sure hope so.

Well, a fun night on Thursday leads too a LOOOOONG day on Friday. We had to check out at 11 a.m., but our flight didn’t leave until midnight, so I was stuck being hung over in the Sports Book all day. It was pretty miserable, but hey, you only live once, so sometimes you gotta suck it up. We ended up getting back to Marion about 12:30 on Saturday, so I slept the rest of the day. I was still exhausted on Christmas, but it was good to see some of the family.

That’s about all I’ve got…Two of my best friends, Kyle and Robin, are getting married on New Year’s Eve, so that should be fun…Good Luck you two, I love ya both.

Well, Happy New Year…and GO BUCKS!

"Losing your way on a journey is unfortunate, but losing your reason for the journey is a fate more cruel"

You Have to Go There to Come Back

T-minus 2 days until Vegas!!! I can't wait, but I'm already dreading coming back and going to work...that's gonna suck. I haven't posted lately because I don't really have anything going on. It's pretty much been me waiting for Vegas. I have been watching a new show called "One Tree Hill", and I'm hooked. I've watched the first two seasons on DVD, and I'm trying to catch up on the third season...you should check it out.

That's all I've got...I'm sure there will be a LONG post when I get back from Vegas...til then, Merry Christmas!!!

"Sometimes, you have to step out of the person you are, and start being the person you're supposed to be."

Winning is Sweet!

This weekend worked out pretty darn well for me. There was a series of 5 poker tournaments at the VFW here in Marion, and I played in all of them. There were 2 Hold 'Em tournaments at $30 apiece, a 7 card stud and Omaha at $30 apiece, and another Hold 'Em Main Event at $55.

The weekend started off horribly...I was the first one out in the first tournament, and I didn't cash in the second. The 3rd one was 7 card stud, and I managed to come in 2nd in that one making $143. I didn't cash in the 4th event, so all I had left was the Main Event to make something happen.

Believe it or not, I ended up winning the Main Event. That was good for $629. There also was a points system to determine the Player of the Series. $5 from every persons entry from every tournament went into the pool, and 1st place in the points got 70%, and 2nd got 30%. So with my Main Event victory, I was able to vault into 2nd place and take home $180 for that. So on the weekend I brought home $953 ($778 in profit). Not too bad considering the way the weekend started!

I ended up losing $82 tonight playing $2-$4 on Full Tilt. I played pretty bad, and had a couple of sets cracked, so that's never any fun...but my bankroll is at $2,200, so I can't really complain. I have to start playing better though, so I can keep increasing it.

I don't really have much else right now...16 days til Vegas!!!!

" Success is only a word, but achieving it is a lifestyle."

Foxwoods and The World Poker Conference

Well last Friday Pounds and I left at about 6 p.m. for Connecticut. The reason we were going there was for the World Poker Players Conference. We figured it’d be a good chance to learn from some of the pros there and we’d even get to play a little poker in the casino.

After a pretty uneventful trip, we arrived at the casino at about 4:30 a.m (with no sleep, I might add). After we got around and got a seat in the poker room, we started playing at about 5 a.m. The only game we could really get a seat is was the $4-$8 game. This place is absolutely huge!!! There are 100 tables in the room, and we had to wait for a seat at 5 in the morning!

Well, anyways, back to the poker. We ended up playing to about 8:15 a.m, and then headed for the conference. I ended up winning $77, and Pounds lost like $150. I only won a few hands, but I’ll go over a couple of them.

The first hand I won was when I had pocket Queens, and they held up. This game was very loose, and I had a couple of people call me down to the river. The J of spades hit the river and paired the board, so I checked, fearing that I was drawn out on, but the 2 pair held up and I had won my first pot of the night.

The next hand I won was a monster. I limped in with KQo in middle position, and 7 people saw a flop of 10 J A rainbow. Yes, I flopped the nuts with 7 people in the pot. I bet, and got called by 5 people…at this time, as happy as I was to have flopped the nuts, I was a little worried that maybe someone had two pair or something. Well, the turn brought the 8 of spades, which put 2 spades on the board. I bet out, and got called by 3 people. The river brought the J of clubs, and this obviously scared me, as I was worried someone hit their full house. Well someone bet into me, but there was no way I could fold, so I called. I had considered raising, but this was pretty early in the session and I didn’t know what the player betting into me was capable of, so I just called as did one other player. Well it turns out that the guy that bet into me had AQ, good for 2 pair, and I’m not sure what the other player had as they didn’t show. But my flopped Broadway was good enough for a monster pot, probably close to $100.

Those were really the only 2 hands of note…I won 2 more I think, but nothing exciting. The breakfast for the conference started at 9, so we headed up to the room and ate, and waited for the conference. At this time I had been up for about 27 hours straight and I was feeling pretty horrible. Well, the conference went off without a hitch, and at 6, after 36 hours without sleep, we were finished. We got to meet some cool pros, and get some pictures and such. My favorite pro was Mark Gregorich. He was incredibly knowledgeable and very down to Earth…he even told us to look him up when we’re in Vegas in December…pretty cool guy if you ask me. The conference did help me find a renewed passion for poker, and I left there truly believing that I will achieve my goal of playing poker for a living someday.
Well, we drove for about 2 hours and called it a night…Laying in that bed after all that time without sleep was the best feeling ever! The next morning we woke up and drove the rest of the way home.

On Monday and Tuesday, I proceeded to lose about $180 online…I was playing horrible and running worse. I couldn’t do anything right and was pretty much just bleeding chips the whole time. I played 10 straight 6 person $10 +$1 sit n go’s without cashing…I think that’s the worst streak I’ve ever endured. Luckily, I have a pretty good drive, so I didn’t give up.

So after those 2 autricious days, I managed to book a $42 win last night. Nothing big by any means, but enough to get off the schnide and get headed back in the right direction. I started playing much better and making much better decisions.

That’s pretty much all I’ve got for now, so I guess I’m out…Later!

" Never let your opponent play you, you play them...Look them right in the eye and let them know that they're defeated."

Poker, Friends, and Lots of Beer

This weekend went WAY too fast! On Friday night a few of my friends and I went to go see the movie JARHEAD. It was damn good, and I got to watch it with 2 of my friends who are in the Army. They enjoyed it as well, and said it seemed to stay true to the Army form. Jake Gyllenhall and Jamie Foxx did an excellent job.

On Saturday I played in a poker tournament at the VFW. In 5 hours, I saw one pocket pair...6's. I didn't get any cards, but despite that, I finished 4th...too bad only the top 3 paid! So after that we went to Columbus because it was my friend P.J.'s last night before he had to go back to Iraq.

We went to Adobe Gilas, and even though that place kinda sucks, we had a blast! My friends and I always have a blast, but even though we were kinda sad that P.J. was leaving, we made the most of it. He should be home for good in like 2 months, so hopefully everything goes ok and he gets home soon!

This weekend Pounds and I are driving to Connecticut for the World Poker Conference. It should be a good learning opportunity, as well as an excellent opportunity to hear the pros speak. It's a 10 hour drive though, so I'm not going to get much sleep this weekend!

That's all for today, hopefully all is well in your world!

" The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of all of your past failures and heartaches."

Death Sucks

On Wednesday morning, my uncle who has been sick with cancer passed away. He was only 27 years old, so that's scary in itself, but this weekend was filled with all the rituals that follow someone's passing. I haven't ever lost someone who has been really close to me, so I'm sure that if that happened I would be an emotional mess, but excluding that, I usually don't get too emotional at funerals. I really didn't think that I would with this one, because in all honesty, it was the best thing that could have happened. He was in a tremendous amount of pain the past couple months, so he's better off now. I wasn't too emotional until I saw my mom and my grandma crying...then it started to get to me. I mean they were a wreck, so it made me emotional to see them like that. Friday night, after the calling hours, I came home and was watching this show about troops that just returned home. They were granting 3 wishes to a couple of the families, and provided them with new homes...it was actually a really cool concept. I think it was everything that has been going on, but I just lost it...I was a crying fool. I'm glad no one was home! It felt good to let some emotion out. I probably haven't cried in 2 or 3 years, but I think it's necessary every once in awhile...needless to say I'm glad all that stuff is over with.

Last night we played some poker at the VFW. We were playing a one table tournament...and I was probably chip leader with about 6 people left. The hand that busted me was some BS. I looked down to see two Kings looking back at me on the button. It was folded to me and I raised all in, hoping my overbet would look like a steal and I would get a call. Well the small blind called with A 10, and someone else had said they folded and Ace. The flop was nothing, but sure enough, one of the 2 remaining Aces spiked the turn and that was all she wrote for me. It really sucks when you can't fade a draw with 2 outs! After that we went to some guy's house I didn't know and played a cash game until like 4 in the morning. I bought in with $40, and cashed out with $39...so I lost $1. They were some crazy mofo's there...actually they were really, really bad. But I couldn't pick up a hand to get myself into a pot with some of those guys to take their cash. So, I played super tight and waited, and waited...and waited. Finally I picked up Aces, and got into a big pot...but I picked it up on the flop. So I guess $1 loss is ok in that game...I easily could have lost all $40.

One of my friends on Myspace posted the following, and after reading it, I feel much better about myself. It's been awhile since I've dated anyone, but when I am in a relationship, I think I do most of these things. So, I've decided to stop worrying about if I'll find someone or not...I'm a good guy, and if a girl doesn't realize that, then it's their loss. I mean I don't cheat, lie, or treat them bad...in fact the opposite is true. I feel that I'm a VERY loyal person...in fact I pride myself on that. And when I'm with someone I treat that like an absolute princess. So, whoever the lucky girl is that decides to take a chance on me will be reap the benefits.

1.Get kissed in the rain
2. Have that one hott kiss where your pressed against the wall
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs
5. A boy that whispers he loves you in your ear
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into eachother's eyes
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about
9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breath in, his scent surrounds you
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand
12. A boy that says he loves you and means it
13. A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window
14. A guy who is loyal
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable...not hot, fine, or sexy
18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look.
19. A boy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile
20. A boy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends
21. A boy that tells you everything honestly
22. A boy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family
23. A guy that will always let you win
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who it is against
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi' and see how your day has been
26. A boy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better
27. A boy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet
28. A boy who you can hangout and have fun with
29. A boy that will just randonmly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance.
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you you make his day better, just for being you


That's pretty much all I've got for today, so live every day to it's fullest!!

R.I.P. Scott Adam Wyatt
1/29/1978-10/26/2005

" It is faith in one's self, when all else is stripped from us, that defines who we are and what we are truly capable of."

What's This All About?

I’m not sure if I’ve ever posted 2 days in a row, but I’ve got nothing better to do, so I figured “why not”?

Today is Tuesday and this week is going to be very long, I can tell already. The weather is really cold and rainy, so that makes the days even longer and more depressing. I plan on playing some poker tonight…I have to get back in the grove of things. I used to want to play all the time, and I would play for hours at a time. Now though, getting up at 6:15 for work and not getting home until 5 or so makes for a long day, so it’s hard to get enough energy to play after that long of a day. I need to stop making excuses and play…I’m never going to get to where I want to be if I don’t play.

I need to stop complaining anyways. My uncle is probably going to die any day from cancer and he’s only 28. So I should stop taking each day for granted. I get to live my life, and he’s lying in bed waiting to die…so I guess things are never as bad as they seem. I need to come up with a plan though that will get me where I want to be…but first I have to figure out where that is!

My friend Eric has been back from Louisiana for about a week now…I’m pretty excited about that. Besides Cheryl, we’re pretty much the only two single people in our group of friends, so we end up hanging out a lot. We’re both really into poker too, so we talk about that a lot. It sucked when he was gone because I didn’t have anything else to do besides hanging out with myself. It’s nice too, because I can talk about poker hands with him and get his input, which helps me become a better player.

I think that’s all for now, who knows when you’ll hear from me…(Not that it matters because I think this whole blog has only been read by about 3 people ever, so I could not post for a year and no one would notice) but I’ll probably post again sometime next week.

As Mike Sexton always says, “May all your cards be live, and your pots be monsters!”

"Remember that life's most treasured moments often come unannounced."

MGM It Is!!

After much debate, we decided we are staying at the MGM Grand in Vegas. We leave on December 18th and get back on Christmas Eve at 10:30 a.m. It is going to be myself, Pounds, Cheryl, Astrid (our foreign exchange student from High School) and Cheryl's friend Katie. I'm going to play so much poker I probably won't be able to see straight.

I've played quite a bit of poker in the past week. On Wednesday night, we played for 2 hours and I lost $40. I can honestly say I haven't played that bad in a long time. We played again Friday night for about 6 hours and I won $35. Then on Saturday night we played a 7 card stud tournament. I got heads up with Pounds with a huge chip lead...but I then proceeded to absolutely blow it and came in second...I won $25. Pounds is a good player, but although we're pretty close friends, he's my arch nemesis in poker. I have a horrible time against him, and it's very hard to beat him...but I like playing against him because it makes me better.

My friend P.J. is home from Iraq, so we're probably gonna chill with him this weekend. It should be a good time...it always is with him.

Well, I've got nothing else right now...I'll make sure to post if I come up with something!

" It is faith in one's self, when all else is stripped from us, that defines who we are and what we are truly capable of."

Where Am I Going?

This week I've been pretty depressed. I'm not sure why, but I know the gloomy weather around here has something to do with it. I'm also in a spot in my life where I need to figure out where my life is going, and where I want it to go. I want to be successful with my life, but I seem lost. All my friends seem to have directions...Beth is in the army and is going to Iraq, Randi is almost done with school to be an occupational therapist, Cheryl and Keith are going to be teachers. And I have a crappy job at an insurance company...I gotta do something.

I got this e-mail from a friend at work, and it pretty much describes what I'm feeling exactly:


Being Twenty-Something, they call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion... "I bend but I do not break."

Well, hopefully I'll start to feel better soon, and figure some things out. If you have any ideas, e-mail me at shawnjustice@gmail.com. I'm taking all ideas! Peace out.

" Keep your spirits up, don't allow yourself to be depressed, and never for one moment doubt that matters will finish better and more quickly than you imagine."

What A Weekend!

Wow...I haven't had this much fun in a weekend in awhile. On Friday night, one of my friends from high school was in town. Beth is going to Iraq in November, so we all got together to hang out with her and have a good time. A foreign exchange student that was at our school from Germany was also in town, and her name is Astrid. We went to eat dinner, and then made our way to a few bars in the big town of Marion...I had a blast. It was great to see Beth again! Her and Randi, another friend of mine, I don't get to see too much, so it's always a pleasure when we get to hang out. The funny thing is though, I could go months or years without seeing them, but we pick up right where we left off when we do see each other. No awkwardness or anything...guess that means that they're real friends.

Saturday we went to Columbus to watch the Buckeyes game at another friends...this night was OOC...out of control. There were about 20 of us there, and we're all pretty good friends, so it was a great time. The Buckeyes didn't exactly cooperate though, and they lost 17-10. I drove about 4 other people down there, but I was passed out after the game! When I woke up, everyone was gone except Beth and I, and it was like 2 a.m. We pretty much chilled and talked, and I think we ended up falling asleep at like 3:30.

Hanging out with all my friends this weekend made me realize that I'm so lucky to have the friends and the family that I do...I wouldn't trade them for the world. I felt some weird connection with Beth this weekend, and I really wish she wasn't going to Iraq. Not necessarily a romantic connection, but like a strong friendship...it was strange and I don't know how to describe it. I'm kinda worried about her going over to Iraq, but she's excited about it. I'm sure she knows what she's doing, so Good Luck Beth! I hope we stay in touch!

Well that's all for now, hopefully I'll get some pictures from the other night and I'll post them on my next entry.

Justice...out!

" My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me, or I can be lost in a maze. My choice, my responsibility, win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny."

I'm Starting to Get Some Confidence

Well, last Saturday I played in a tournament with 15 other people at a friend's house. It was a $50 buy in and we started with 10,000 in chips and blinds of 25-50. My strategy going in was to play small pots, and try not to get involved in any big pots. I really felt that I was the best player, and it would be stupid for me to play big pots with players that I could outplay for small pots. The strategy worked out pretty well and I had about 12,000 when the antes kicked in in the 4th level.

I lost a couple of pots, and when we got down to 1 table I only had about 7,000. I had to move in a few times, but never got called, so I was sitting with about 11,000 or so until we got down to 5. Only 4 people got paid, so we were at 5 for quite awhile because nobody wanted to go out on the bubble.

Once we got down to 4, I really opened up my game and started to steal a bunch of pots. We all agreed prior to the tournament starting that everyone would have a $5 bounty on their head. So if you knocked someone out, they had to pay you $5. Well, I hadn't knocked anyone out when there was 4 people left, but I was able to knock out the remaining 3 players and win the tournament. First paid $375, plus the $15 extra for bounties, so it was a profit of $340...not too bad for a days work.

I've been doing pretty decent in online tournaments as well. I finished 21st out of 535 people in a tournament last weekend, and 6th out of 67 in a tourney this week. Neither was a huge payout, but I'm learning to play deep into tournaments and the big score is right around the corner, I can feel it.

Tomorrow or Tuesday I'll post about my weekend. Besides the Buckeyes losing, I had a blast with some old friends I havent seen in a while...Stories to come!

" There never was a winner that didn't expect to win in advance."

I'm Playing Great, but Running Bad

Not much going on lately. I've been playing great poker lately, but can't seem to fade other people's 5 card outs. Got all in with JJ against Q8o and K6o and the flop came KQx. What can I do? I managed to fold pocket kings after the flop of 9 8 2. I bet and got raised, and laid it down. I was right, because the other guy showed a set of 9's. I had a decent read on him, so I was confident my decision was right even if he didn't show his cards.

I'm playing in a tournment (and running it) on Saturday. Start with 10,000 in chips, blinds start at 25-50 and go up every 45 minutes. I'm really feeling confident about my game, and I think it's time for me to start winning like I should. I'm one of the best players in our game, and I'm ready for my results to start showing it. I'm going to stop playing big pots against inferior players, and chip away.

Well, I hope to post happy results this weekend! It should be fun regardless. I'm really ready to start taking this poker thing seriously, so I'm turning all my focus to Saturday. Hopefully no bad beats!

"Sometimes your bust and sometimes your flush, and when your up its never as good as it seems, and when your down you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on."

I'm Such a Slacker

I haven't posted in like two weeks, and there has been a lot that has happened since then. First off, the Buckeyes who were ranked #4 in the country took on the Texas Longhorns who were ranked #2. The Buckeyes pretty much dominated the game, but couldn't score in the red zone and ended up losing 25-22. It was a crazy atmosphere! This pic is one that I took on Lane Ave. before the game. Just a mass of humanity.

The day following the game I played in the largest live tournament that I've ever played. There was 135 people in the tournament, and only the top 10 spots paid. I played extremely well, and I was pretty much card dead all day. I ended up finishing 13th, just missing the money, but I was pretty happy with my performance. I played for 5 hours and only had 3 pocket pairs... 7's, and 8's twice. I had a really good shot at getting to the final table, and I was in great position to double up when I got it in with AK vs. A10, but the board paired twice and we chopped the pot. If I win that hand I feel like I'm for sure gonna cash, and have a good shot to win the first prize of $2,000.

Last Wednesday we played a cash game at a friend's house and I ended up winning like $7. Not a large amount by any means, but I felt like I played awesome. One hand of note: Guy in first position raises 4x the blind and the next guy, who is really tight calls. I look down at QQ, and decide to raise because 1. I know initial raiser has junk, and 2. I need to find out where I am with the caller who is a tight player. Well, initial raiser goes all in, and the caller calls. I now decide that I'm beat and lay the Queens down. Well initial raiser shows AJo, which was pretty much what I expected, and the caller shows KK. I made a great laydown, and I'm not so sure I could have done that 2 months ago.

I played a cash game today and lost $20. I had a couple bad breaks and I was down to about $9 when I picked up JJ, the best hand I'd seen all day, in the big blind. Small blind makes it 4x the BB, and I decided to push right there. He makes an absolutely horrific call with K10, and the first card off the deck is the King. If I win that hand I'm pretty close to even, but I lost the rest of my stack. I have the worst luck when it comes to hands like that, but I want that call every time. I'm winning that hand 75% of the time. Oh well.

The Vegas strip is calling my name! It's right at 3 months until my trip, so I'm starting to get excited. We're either gonna stay at Monte Carlo, The Mirage, or Treasure Island, and it looks like my friend Cheryl might join Pounds and I along with one of her friends from college. It should be a blast.

On another note, I've been feeling a little depressed lately because it seems like all my friends, and even people that I know that aren't really my friends are getting married. This is kind of depressing because I haven't had a relationship in like 2 years, so it doesn't look like I'll be getting married anytime soon. Not that I'm in a hurry or anything, but everyone seems to be starting their lives and families, and I seem to be stuck in neutral. I try to think that my time will come when it's supposed to, and that fate works in really weird ways, but you can only believe that stuff for so long. Guess I'll just go with the flow and see what happens.

Peace out homies!

" A person of nobility is one who can appreciate their noble
surroundings by appearing humble and gracious in the company of those who strive for nobility."

Hell on Earth

There hasn't been anything important going on in my life lately. Pretty much every night I've came home and watched the Hurricane Katrina coverage that has been going on. The hurricane hit Biloxi and Gulfport, Mississippi the hardest, and then devastated New Orleans when the levees broke and flooded the city. It is really like a disaster area down there, and my thoughts and prayers are with all of the victims down there.

My friend Eric and I were just down there over Memorial Day weekend. My cousin lives in Biloxi and we went to to visit with him and play some poker. I'm gonna post a few pictures that I took when we were down there, and then I'll post some of the pictures I got from the internet that were taken after the storm hit. It doesn't even look like the same placee, and it's going to take the whole Gulf Coast years to rebuild. Hopefully they'll decide to rebuild everything that was there and continue to provide jobs and income to everyone who worked there.

The Air Force base that my cousin was stationed at is 95% destroyed. His house is still standing, but a neighbor's tree fell on top of the garage and crushed it. That's actually good compared to what happened to most of the houses in Biloxi. He was smart and went to Alabama before the storm hit so he didn't have to worry about staying alive. I think he's coming back to Ohio for awhile because there isn't really anything left for him down there. I'm pretty sure he was planning on getting out of the Air Force anyways, so this pretty much just seals the deal I would think.

These are some pictures that I took of the nicest casino down there, the Beau Rivage. It's part of the MGM Mirage corporation. It was really a beautiful place, but I heard it suffered substantial damage in the storm. But it is still standing, which is more than can be said for most of the casinos.
This is a picture of the palace casino that was picked up and thrown by the storm. It is amazing what a storm with that kind of power can do...mother nature is an amazing force.

I forgot to mention that my friend Eric who went down the Biloxi with me is a member of the National Guard. He was called on Thursday night to go to Mississippi to provide support to the other troops who are contributing to the relief effort in the Gulf Coast. So good luck Eric, take care of yourself and get back so we can play some poker and gin.

The storm has also increased our gas prices because 30% of the country. Gas has gotten as high as $3.09 around here, and there have been reports of $6.00 gas in Atlanta. If that isn't price gouging, I don't know what is!

This is another picture of a building that was ripped from it's foundation and thrown by the 175 mph winds. It's amazing to see these pictures, but I couldn't imagine what it's like to see these things in person. Surreal I imagine.

Well that's pretty much all I have for now. I had some poker stuff, but it just doesn't seem all that important right now, so I'll save it for later.

" Success is knowing what you are made up of, in spite of what occurs to you. Greatness is a function of who you are and what you have. The difference between you and your place of glory is an event. Great men have dreams; great dreams rule the world. You are only a thought away from your dream and a step away from your greatness. Take a walk Sir!"

Football Season is Coming!!!

Hello all! Ohio State's first game is 8 days away, and I'm super stoked! I can't wait! I'm moving back to the parents house this weekend :-( But it will help me save alot of money for a house or the move to Vegas, whichever I decide to do. It's not so bad because I have a couple good friends who still live around my parents, so I'll get to hang out with them more. The drive to and from work is going to suck though...but I'll live. I still can't stop thinking about Vegas!

I started running this week, and I'm OOS...out of shape! The second time was easier than the first though, so it should be a little easier to swallow in a couple of weeks. It helps me with my self discipline though, which will help me with my poker.

Still absolutely no news on the girlfriend front...haven't had any news on that in well...there's never been any news on that in this blog!! I have my eye on someone, but she can't know. It doesn't really matter though because she is way out of my league. Maybe someday I'll find someone, but it's nice to do whatever I want whenever I want. I'm not sure I'd want to give that up.

My parents just got back from Vegas yesterday on the trip my sister and I bought them. I think they had a really good time, so that makes me happy.

Can't think of anything else important right now, so I'm gonna hit the sack!

"I'll take on a man from any land, in any game that he can name, and for any amount that I can count. Of course, I can count higher for some people than I can others."