Death Sucks

On Wednesday morning, my uncle who has been sick with cancer passed away. He was only 27 years old, so that's scary in itself, but this weekend was filled with all the rituals that follow someone's passing. I haven't ever lost someone who has been really close to me, so I'm sure that if that happened I would be an emotional mess, but excluding that, I usually don't get too emotional at funerals. I really didn't think that I would with this one, because in all honesty, it was the best thing that could have happened. He was in a tremendous amount of pain the past couple months, so he's better off now. I wasn't too emotional until I saw my mom and my grandma crying...then it started to get to me. I mean they were a wreck, so it made me emotional to see them like that. Friday night, after the calling hours, I came home and was watching this show about troops that just returned home. They were granting 3 wishes to a couple of the families, and provided them with new homes...it was actually a really cool concept. I think it was everything that has been going on, but I just lost it...I was a crying fool. I'm glad no one was home! It felt good to let some emotion out. I probably haven't cried in 2 or 3 years, but I think it's necessary every once in awhile...needless to say I'm glad all that stuff is over with.

Last night we played some poker at the VFW. We were playing a one table tournament...and I was probably chip leader with about 6 people left. The hand that busted me was some BS. I looked down to see two Kings looking back at me on the button. It was folded to me and I raised all in, hoping my overbet would look like a steal and I would get a call. Well the small blind called with A 10, and someone else had said they folded and Ace. The flop was nothing, but sure enough, one of the 2 remaining Aces spiked the turn and that was all she wrote for me. It really sucks when you can't fade a draw with 2 outs! After that we went to some guy's house I didn't know and played a cash game until like 4 in the morning. I bought in with $40, and cashed out with $39...so I lost $1. They were some crazy mofo's there...actually they were really, really bad. But I couldn't pick up a hand to get myself into a pot with some of those guys to take their cash. So, I played super tight and waited, and waited...and waited. Finally I picked up Aces, and got into a big pot...but I picked it up on the flop. So I guess $1 loss is ok in that game...I easily could have lost all $40.

One of my friends on Myspace posted the following, and after reading it, I feel much better about myself. It's been awhile since I've dated anyone, but when I am in a relationship, I think I do most of these things. So, I've decided to stop worrying about if I'll find someone or not...I'm a good guy, and if a girl doesn't realize that, then it's their loss. I mean I don't cheat, lie, or treat them bad...in fact the opposite is true. I feel that I'm a VERY loyal person...in fact I pride myself on that. And when I'm with someone I treat that like an absolute princess. So, whoever the lucky girl is that decides to take a chance on me will be reap the benefits.

1.Get kissed in the rain
2. Have that one hott kiss where your pressed against the wall
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs
5. A boy that whispers he loves you in your ear
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into eachother's eyes
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that you can think about
9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breath in, his scent surrounds you
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand
12. A boy that says he loves you and means it
13. A guy that will play her favorite song outside her window
14. A guy who is loyal
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful or adorable...not hot, fine, or sexy
18. A guy that will never judge you for how you look.
19. A boy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile
20. A boy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends
21. A boy that tells you everything honestly
22. A boy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family
23. A guy that will always let you win
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who it is against
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi' and see how your day has been
26. A boy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better
27. A boy who will sit on the phone with you when you're sad, even if you're quiet
28. A boy who you can hangout and have fun with
29. A boy that will just randonmly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matter the circumstance.
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to get all dressed up and do your make up for him. Even if he says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he will never give a care and would still tell you that you are amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair, like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you you make his day better, just for being you


That's pretty much all I've got for today, so live every day to it's fullest!!

R.I.P. Scott Adam Wyatt
1/29/1978-10/26/2005

" It is faith in one's self, when all else is stripped from us, that defines who we are and what we are truly capable of."

What's This All About?

I’m not sure if I’ve ever posted 2 days in a row, but I’ve got nothing better to do, so I figured “why not”?

Today is Tuesday and this week is going to be very long, I can tell already. The weather is really cold and rainy, so that makes the days even longer and more depressing. I plan on playing some poker tonight…I have to get back in the grove of things. I used to want to play all the time, and I would play for hours at a time. Now though, getting up at 6:15 for work and not getting home until 5 or so makes for a long day, so it’s hard to get enough energy to play after that long of a day. I need to stop making excuses and play…I’m never going to get to where I want to be if I don’t play.

I need to stop complaining anyways. My uncle is probably going to die any day from cancer and he’s only 28. So I should stop taking each day for granted. I get to live my life, and he’s lying in bed waiting to die…so I guess things are never as bad as they seem. I need to come up with a plan though that will get me where I want to be…but first I have to figure out where that is!

My friend Eric has been back from Louisiana for about a week now…I’m pretty excited about that. Besides Cheryl, we’re pretty much the only two single people in our group of friends, so we end up hanging out a lot. We’re both really into poker too, so we talk about that a lot. It sucked when he was gone because I didn’t have anything else to do besides hanging out with myself. It’s nice too, because I can talk about poker hands with him and get his input, which helps me become a better player.

I think that’s all for now, who knows when you’ll hear from me…(Not that it matters because I think this whole blog has only been read by about 3 people ever, so I could not post for a year and no one would notice) but I’ll probably post again sometime next week.

As Mike Sexton always says, “May all your cards be live, and your pots be monsters!”

"Remember that life's most treasured moments often come unannounced."

MGM It Is!!

After much debate, we decided we are staying at the MGM Grand in Vegas. We leave on December 18th and get back on Christmas Eve at 10:30 a.m. It is going to be myself, Pounds, Cheryl, Astrid (our foreign exchange student from High School) and Cheryl's friend Katie. I'm going to play so much poker I probably won't be able to see straight.

I've played quite a bit of poker in the past week. On Wednesday night, we played for 2 hours and I lost $40. I can honestly say I haven't played that bad in a long time. We played again Friday night for about 6 hours and I won $35. Then on Saturday night we played a 7 card stud tournament. I got heads up with Pounds with a huge chip lead...but I then proceeded to absolutely blow it and came in second...I won $25. Pounds is a good player, but although we're pretty close friends, he's my arch nemesis in poker. I have a horrible time against him, and it's very hard to beat him...but I like playing against him because it makes me better.

My friend P.J. is home from Iraq, so we're probably gonna chill with him this weekend. It should be a good time...it always is with him.

Well, I've got nothing else right now...I'll make sure to post if I come up with something!

" It is faith in one's self, when all else is stripped from us, that defines who we are and what we are truly capable of."

Where Am I Going?

This week I've been pretty depressed. I'm not sure why, but I know the gloomy weather around here has something to do with it. I'm also in a spot in my life where I need to figure out where my life is going, and where I want it to go. I want to be successful with my life, but I seem lost. All my friends seem to have directions...Beth is in the army and is going to Iraq, Randi is almost done with school to be an occupational therapist, Cheryl and Keith are going to be teachers. And I have a crappy job at an insurance company...I gotta do something.

I got this e-mail from a friend at work, and it pretty much describes what I'm feeling exactly:


Being Twenty-Something, they call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion... "I bend but I do not break."

Well, hopefully I'll start to feel better soon, and figure some things out. If you have any ideas, e-mail me at shawnjustice@gmail.com. I'm taking all ideas! Peace out.

" Keep your spirits up, don't allow yourself to be depressed, and never for one moment doubt that matters will finish better and more quickly than you imagine."

What A Weekend!

Wow...I haven't had this much fun in a weekend in awhile. On Friday night, one of my friends from high school was in town. Beth is going to Iraq in November, so we all got together to hang out with her and have a good time. A foreign exchange student that was at our school from Germany was also in town, and her name is Astrid. We went to eat dinner, and then made our way to a few bars in the big town of Marion...I had a blast. It was great to see Beth again! Her and Randi, another friend of mine, I don't get to see too much, so it's always a pleasure when we get to hang out. The funny thing is though, I could go months or years without seeing them, but we pick up right where we left off when we do see each other. No awkwardness or anything...guess that means that they're real friends.

Saturday we went to Columbus to watch the Buckeyes game at another friends...this night was OOC...out of control. There were about 20 of us there, and we're all pretty good friends, so it was a great time. The Buckeyes didn't exactly cooperate though, and they lost 17-10. I drove about 4 other people down there, but I was passed out after the game! When I woke up, everyone was gone except Beth and I, and it was like 2 a.m. We pretty much chilled and talked, and I think we ended up falling asleep at like 3:30.

Hanging out with all my friends this weekend made me realize that I'm so lucky to have the friends and the family that I do...I wouldn't trade them for the world. I felt some weird connection with Beth this weekend, and I really wish she wasn't going to Iraq. Not necessarily a romantic connection, but like a strong friendship...it was strange and I don't know how to describe it. I'm kinda worried about her going over to Iraq, but she's excited about it. I'm sure she knows what she's doing, so Good Luck Beth! I hope we stay in touch!

Well that's all for now, hopefully I'll get some pictures from the other night and I'll post them on my next entry.

Justice...out!

" My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me, or I can be lost in a maze. My choice, my responsibility, win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny."

I'm Starting to Get Some Confidence

Well, last Saturday I played in a tournament with 15 other people at a friend's house. It was a $50 buy in and we started with 10,000 in chips and blinds of 25-50. My strategy going in was to play small pots, and try not to get involved in any big pots. I really felt that I was the best player, and it would be stupid for me to play big pots with players that I could outplay for small pots. The strategy worked out pretty well and I had about 12,000 when the antes kicked in in the 4th level.

I lost a couple of pots, and when we got down to 1 table I only had about 7,000. I had to move in a few times, but never got called, so I was sitting with about 11,000 or so until we got down to 5. Only 4 people got paid, so we were at 5 for quite awhile because nobody wanted to go out on the bubble.

Once we got down to 4, I really opened up my game and started to steal a bunch of pots. We all agreed prior to the tournament starting that everyone would have a $5 bounty on their head. So if you knocked someone out, they had to pay you $5. Well, I hadn't knocked anyone out when there was 4 people left, but I was able to knock out the remaining 3 players and win the tournament. First paid $375, plus the $15 extra for bounties, so it was a profit of $340...not too bad for a days work.

I've been doing pretty decent in online tournaments as well. I finished 21st out of 535 people in a tournament last weekend, and 6th out of 67 in a tourney this week. Neither was a huge payout, but I'm learning to play deep into tournaments and the big score is right around the corner, I can feel it.

Tomorrow or Tuesday I'll post about my weekend. Besides the Buckeyes losing, I had a blast with some old friends I havent seen in a while...Stories to come!

" There never was a winner that didn't expect to win in advance."

I'm Playing Great, but Running Bad

Not much going on lately. I've been playing great poker lately, but can't seem to fade other people's 5 card outs. Got all in with JJ against Q8o and K6o and the flop came KQx. What can I do? I managed to fold pocket kings after the flop of 9 8 2. I bet and got raised, and laid it down. I was right, because the other guy showed a set of 9's. I had a decent read on him, so I was confident my decision was right even if he didn't show his cards.

I'm playing in a tournment (and running it) on Saturday. Start with 10,000 in chips, blinds start at 25-50 and go up every 45 minutes. I'm really feeling confident about my game, and I think it's time for me to start winning like I should. I'm one of the best players in our game, and I'm ready for my results to start showing it. I'm going to stop playing big pots against inferior players, and chip away.

Well, I hope to post happy results this weekend! It should be fun regardless. I'm really ready to start taking this poker thing seriously, so I'm turning all my focus to Saturday. Hopefully no bad beats!

"Sometimes your bust and sometimes your flush, and when your up its never as good as it seems, and when your down you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on."

I'm Such a Slacker

I haven't posted in like two weeks, and there has been a lot that has happened since then. First off, the Buckeyes who were ranked #4 in the country took on the Texas Longhorns who were ranked #2. The Buckeyes pretty much dominated the game, but couldn't score in the red zone and ended up losing 25-22. It was a crazy atmosphere! This pic is one that I took on Lane Ave. before the game. Just a mass of humanity.

The day following the game I played in the largest live tournament that I've ever played. There was 135 people in the tournament, and only the top 10 spots paid. I played extremely well, and I was pretty much card dead all day. I ended up finishing 13th, just missing the money, but I was pretty happy with my performance. I played for 5 hours and only had 3 pocket pairs... 7's, and 8's twice. I had a really good shot at getting to the final table, and I was in great position to double up when I got it in with AK vs. A10, but the board paired twice and we chopped the pot. If I win that hand I feel like I'm for sure gonna cash, and have a good shot to win the first prize of $2,000.

Last Wednesday we played a cash game at a friend's house and I ended up winning like $7. Not a large amount by any means, but I felt like I played awesome. One hand of note: Guy in first position raises 4x the blind and the next guy, who is really tight calls. I look down at QQ, and decide to raise because 1. I know initial raiser has junk, and 2. I need to find out where I am with the caller who is a tight player. Well, initial raiser goes all in, and the caller calls. I now decide that I'm beat and lay the Queens down. Well initial raiser shows AJo, which was pretty much what I expected, and the caller shows KK. I made a great laydown, and I'm not so sure I could have done that 2 months ago.

I played a cash game today and lost $20. I had a couple bad breaks and I was down to about $9 when I picked up JJ, the best hand I'd seen all day, in the big blind. Small blind makes it 4x the BB, and I decided to push right there. He makes an absolutely horrific call with K10, and the first card off the deck is the King. If I win that hand I'm pretty close to even, but I lost the rest of my stack. I have the worst luck when it comes to hands like that, but I want that call every time. I'm winning that hand 75% of the time. Oh well.

The Vegas strip is calling my name! It's right at 3 months until my trip, so I'm starting to get excited. We're either gonna stay at Monte Carlo, The Mirage, or Treasure Island, and it looks like my friend Cheryl might join Pounds and I along with one of her friends from college. It should be a blast.

On another note, I've been feeling a little depressed lately because it seems like all my friends, and even people that I know that aren't really my friends are getting married. This is kind of depressing because I haven't had a relationship in like 2 years, so it doesn't look like I'll be getting married anytime soon. Not that I'm in a hurry or anything, but everyone seems to be starting their lives and families, and I seem to be stuck in neutral. I try to think that my time will come when it's supposed to, and that fate works in really weird ways, but you can only believe that stuff for so long. Guess I'll just go with the flow and see what happens.

Peace out homies!

" A person of nobility is one who can appreciate their noble
surroundings by appearing humble and gracious in the company of those who strive for nobility."

Hell on Earth

There hasn't been anything important going on in my life lately. Pretty much every night I've came home and watched the Hurricane Katrina coverage that has been going on. The hurricane hit Biloxi and Gulfport, Mississippi the hardest, and then devastated New Orleans when the levees broke and flooded the city. It is really like a disaster area down there, and my thoughts and prayers are with all of the victims down there.

My friend Eric and I were just down there over Memorial Day weekend. My cousin lives in Biloxi and we went to to visit with him and play some poker. I'm gonna post a few pictures that I took when we were down there, and then I'll post some of the pictures I got from the internet that were taken after the storm hit. It doesn't even look like the same placee, and it's going to take the whole Gulf Coast years to rebuild. Hopefully they'll decide to rebuild everything that was there and continue to provide jobs and income to everyone who worked there.

The Air Force base that my cousin was stationed at is 95% destroyed. His house is still standing, but a neighbor's tree fell on top of the garage and crushed it. That's actually good compared to what happened to most of the houses in Biloxi. He was smart and went to Alabama before the storm hit so he didn't have to worry about staying alive. I think he's coming back to Ohio for awhile because there isn't really anything left for him down there. I'm pretty sure he was planning on getting out of the Air Force anyways, so this pretty much just seals the deal I would think.

These are some pictures that I took of the nicest casino down there, the Beau Rivage. It's part of the MGM Mirage corporation. It was really a beautiful place, but I heard it suffered substantial damage in the storm. But it is still standing, which is more than can be said for most of the casinos.
This is a picture of the palace casino that was picked up and thrown by the storm. It is amazing what a storm with that kind of power can do...mother nature is an amazing force.

I forgot to mention that my friend Eric who went down the Biloxi with me is a member of the National Guard. He was called on Thursday night to go to Mississippi to provide support to the other troops who are contributing to the relief effort in the Gulf Coast. So good luck Eric, take care of yourself and get back so we can play some poker and gin.

The storm has also increased our gas prices because 30% of the country. Gas has gotten as high as $3.09 around here, and there have been reports of $6.00 gas in Atlanta. If that isn't price gouging, I don't know what is!

This is another picture of a building that was ripped from it's foundation and thrown by the 175 mph winds. It's amazing to see these pictures, but I couldn't imagine what it's like to see these things in person. Surreal I imagine.

Well that's pretty much all I have for now. I had some poker stuff, but it just doesn't seem all that important right now, so I'll save it for later.

" Success is knowing what you are made up of, in spite of what occurs to you. Greatness is a function of who you are and what you have. The difference between you and your place of glory is an event. Great men have dreams; great dreams rule the world. You are only a thought away from your dream and a step away from your greatness. Take a walk Sir!"

Football Season is Coming!!!

Hello all! Ohio State's first game is 8 days away, and I'm super stoked! I can't wait! I'm moving back to the parents house this weekend :-( But it will help me save alot of money for a house or the move to Vegas, whichever I decide to do. It's not so bad because I have a couple good friends who still live around my parents, so I'll get to hang out with them more. The drive to and from work is going to suck though...but I'll live. I still can't stop thinking about Vegas!

I started running this week, and I'm OOS...out of shape! The second time was easier than the first though, so it should be a little easier to swallow in a couple of weeks. It helps me with my self discipline though, which will help me with my poker.

Still absolutely no news on the girlfriend front...haven't had any news on that in well...there's never been any news on that in this blog!! I have my eye on someone, but she can't know. It doesn't really matter though because she is way out of my league. Maybe someday I'll find someone, but it's nice to do whatever I want whenever I want. I'm not sure I'd want to give that up.

My parents just got back from Vegas yesterday on the trip my sister and I bought them. I think they had a really good time, so that makes me happy.

Can't think of anything else important right now, so I'm gonna hit the sack!

"I'll take on a man from any land, in any game that he can name, and for any amount that I can count. Of course, I can count higher for some people than I can others."

My Birthday!

Well, my birthday was yesterday. The big 2-3. I'm starting to feel old. We went out Saturday night for a party at the Lodge Bar, and it was a BLAST! I was drunk by 9:30 because everyone kept buying me shots...I hate shots! Then yesterday since it was actually the day of my birthday we went out for some wings and beer. It was a very good time, and it made me realize how lucky I am to have such great friends. I may not have great looks, but I have a good personality and I'm a good person...I think that's why I have so many awesome friends. The friends that are really close to me are by far some of the best people in the world, but the friends I don't hang out with as much are really good people as well. I truly feel blessed.

This past Saturday I played a co-ed softball tournament with some people at work. It was pretty fun, but we got absolutely SMACKED. We got beat by a combined score of 59-7 in 2 games...how embarrassing! Oh well, I guess it could have been alot worse. Come to think of it, I'm not sure it could have been ANY worse. LOL!
Lately I've been feeling like I have no direction in my life. It seems like my whole life I've always had something to work towards, and right now I can't really think of anything in my life that fits that description. I'm severly lacking direction, and I need to get things straightened out & get some enthusiam back. I've really been sort of bummed lately, but hopefully that'll turn around. Football season is coming up soon, so that should make me feel better and provide something for me to dive into.

Nothing new really on the poker front. Haven't had too much time in the past week to play. I've been up and down, but seem to be losing in limit quite often lately. I still consider myself a beginning limit player, so that's to be expected. Just gets a little frustrating sometimes, but like the old saying goes, "That's Poker".

I don't really have much else to say right now so I'm gonna hit the sack. Til next time.

" The only things in life you ever really regret, are the chances you didn't take....to hell with the consequences!"

The Dog Days of Summer

Man, I wish I was there. It's been steamin hot here! I'm really tired of Ohio weather. It's so humid here it's almost unbearable. I can't wait til September and October when it starts to cool off.

In poker news, I got my bankroll over $1,000. That's not really a big deal, since it's been well over that many times before, but it's the first time it's been there since I cashed out a big portion of it a couple months ago. It's just a figure, but I hope I can keep playing well so it can keep rising.

I'm going back to Vegas in December, and my goal is to get the BR over $3,000. I think this is attainable, but challenging also. I would really like to be able to play $10-$20 by spring, but we'll see how things go.

Nothing exciting to report on really. This weekend we're going out for my birthday, so that should be fun. Maybe I'll meet the girl of my dreams! Psych...we know that will never happen. Oh well, girls just cost money anyway!

Until next time, keep grinding it out in the game of life.

" Dreams do not vanish so long as people do not abandon them."

It Was A Crazy Game of Poker

Last Sunday I won $200 playing $1-$2 on Bodog. There was one guy on there who was a complete maniac and lost about $240...I got most of it. I won a $91 dollar pot when I hit the nut flush on a 4 way pot that was capped on every street. I really don't know what these people were thinking.

One day last week my friends and I got bored, so we decided ot take some retarded pictures. Here are a few of them:


If you're that interested, you can check these out with the rest of my pictures with the link to the right.

Really not all that much to report, so I'll let ya go. I'm gonna post again sometime this week probably, so until then...dont' ya go dyin on me!

" The more sweat you shed during the peace time... the less blood you will shed during the war time."

What To Do, What To Do?

It seems like I'm at a crossroads in my life where I need to figure out which direction I need to go. I've seriously been thinking about moving to Vegas and getting a job in a casino. I love that city, and I really think it would fit me well. I also know it would be easier to try to make it playing poker, but I know that I still have a long way to go in that, and I'm not going to try to rush it. I mean, how could you pass this up?


On the other hand I could stay here and try to save money to buy a house. If I do that, I have to find a new job. When Ozzy Osborne wrote "Road to Nowhere", I think he was talking about my job. It is such a dead end job, and everyday I go in there I feel like such a sucker. I look at it as I'm losing money not having a better job, rather than making money. To put it in poker terms, this job has me "drawing dead". So if anyone knows of any jobs, give me a call and let me know about em'!

On the poker front things are looking about the same. Had a rough night last night and dropped $60, but got most of it back tonight. I got a sweet bonus for referring my dad to Bodog, so I'm trying to play enough hands to clear that. I also used my money to deposit for him, so I'm playing that to clear his bonus. I don't trust him to play it...he's not very good!

Well...that's all I've got. Til next time, keep dreamin!

" We know what we are, but know not what we may be."

Life's Been Pretty Boring

The reason I haven't posted in awhile is because I don't really have too much to talk about. Life has been pretty boring lately, so there has been nothing worth sharing.

I had a good weekend this weekend. Got to hang out with some friends I don't normally get to hand out with, so that was cool. We played in a softball tournament, but we got SPANKED every single game, so that sucked.

Haven't really made too much money playing poker online, but I've been slowing creeping my way back up. Hopefully I can get a big score in a tournament, but that hasn't happened yet so I'm not holding my breath.

I just finished the book "One of a Kind: The Rise and Fall of Stuey "The Kid" Ungar". It was a great book, and made me wish that I had the natural talent for cards that he was blessed with. It also made me sad that someone with that talent couldn't defeat his personal demons, and ended up paying the ultimate price. I highly recommend it to anyone who likes poker.

That's all until next time...cheers!

" Failure is the messenger of success."

So Much For Posting More Often!

I've been so busy I can't even see straight. I've also been really tired. I think I might go to the doctor for a physical, I shouldn't be this tired. I did get a chance to read the new book "The Professor, The Banker, and The Suicide King". It is terriffic. I recommend checking it out if you even remotely like poker. Reading that book makes me realize how much I want to be a professional poker player and live that lifestyle...but it also made me realize how far away I am. I'm still not going to quit trying, but we'll see what happens.

Well, that's all for now. Don't really have much to say.

" No matter how hard things may seem, the diamond of your soul is harder."

I'm Baaaccckkkk!

Well, I've decided to move my blog back here. I just like the setup and the look better. I know I've said it before, but I'm going to start posting at least 4 times a week if possible. So for the probably 2 people who might read this...you'll have more to read soon!

Last week saw me lose about $200 playing online, and it was rough to take. I really think that if I wasn't as mentally strong as I am, I might start to get depressed with everything going on in my life right now. The $200 loss just added to the frustration. But what can you do...I played well for the most part until I tilted off the last $50. I'm over it.

Well now my bankroll is down to about $500. I have $135 on UB and $300 on Gamesgrid. So I decide I'll start playing the $10+$1 6-handed sit n go's on UB. It worked out pretty well as I cashed (1st or 2nd) in the first 6 I played. So I'm up to about $220 on UB. Then last night I sat at the $1-$2 dealers choice game on Gamesgrid and won about $50 in about half an hour. I key hand was in 7 card stud.

My hand started out with K J 5 all spades, with the K showing. On 4th street I caught the J of clubs...this helped, but at this point I was still looking for the spade flush. Well, on 5th street I caught another Jack, and this gave me trips, but my lone opponent continued to call my bets. He now had the A Q 5 of spades showing for his own spade flush draw. I caught a blank on 6th street, but continued to bet it, and once again I got called. Well, I caught another King on the river, giving me Jacks full of Kings. Although I didn't see it, I think the other guy made his Ace high spade flush, because when I bet he raised me. I obviously reraised, and he just called. I took down like a $30 pot in $1-$2...not too bad.

Well today has been a different story. When I quit last night I was up to about $570 total. So far today I've played 3 sit n go's (playing a 4th right now) and I haven't cashed yet, so I'm down about $33...which sucks. I'm playing solid, but cards just aren't falling. For example, last sit n go I lost. I had AK, and raised before the flop. I was reraised by the player to my left, and I called. The flop was K Q 9. I pushed all in...he called and showed 10 10. Well the river brought the Jack to give him a straight and that's all she wrote for me. Just a little rough patch, I'll fight through it.

I think I'm going back to Vegas for about a week right before Christmas. Now I know this may be a little out there, but I'd like to have my bankroll up to about 5 grand by then. I've got alot of work to do, and I've got to get alot better, but I think I can do it...we'll see I guess.

That's all for now...God Bless

" You are the world's greatest, when you say you are."

Poker Blog

Blog has moved...check it out here

http://www.jaysonweber.com/blog/Poker-Blog-shawnjustice.php

I'm gonna try this place out, and if I don't like it, I'll move it back here. Check it out!

Why?

Well, I just found out the other day that my uncle has cancer. That sucks. It makes me wonder why God does the things that he does. This uncle was in a car accident about 7 or 8 years ago and was severly burned, lost a few fingers, and still feels the affects every day...so why does he have to go through this too? It's just not fair. This makes me look at my poker experiences in a different light though...poker is just a game...not life or death.

Lately I've just been spinning my wheels in poker...not winning, not losing. There are somedays where I just want to quit, but quitting isn't in my blood. It's simply not an option. So I'll continue to try to make my way through the minefield that is low limit poker, and hopefully be able to score a tourney win soon.

Life is pretty blah right now...I have nothing to look forward to, people around me are dying, and I hate my job. It's just one of those gray stretches everyone goes through, but it sure sucks...gotta find something to pick me up. Hopefully something good will happen soon, but I'm not counting on it. I honestly feel like I couldn't be more lonely than I am right now. I need to find someone to hang out with...preferably a girl :-) We'll see what happens. Enough of this deep stuff, next post will be all about poker, and hopefully it'll be good news!

" No matter how many times you fail at something, you are never a failure until the day you quit trying."

Isn't Life Grand?

Well...Ive just been hanging out and trying to figure out the best way to build my bankroll...haven't quite figured it out yet. I tried 1-2, but that game is so hard to beat due to the chasers, I can only beat it when I'm playing my best, and that's hard to do all of the time. I need to find away to get the roll up to about $1,500 or so...that way I can play 3-6 comfortably. I'm pretty sure I can beat that game, because there are still fish, but it costs them alot more to draw, so the bad beats don't come as often. I still have a long way to go to be a good player, but I'm on my way...Hopefully I can keep improving. Well, that's all for now.

"Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow."